How to be a more content career mum

Janet: 00:00

People said, he's going to look after her. Dad is going to look after her because he's her father and she will be fine. I also hope that I'm setting a good examples of her, that it's okay to have a family and travel and to follow your career and that you don't have to apologize.

Wendy: 00:19

Hi guys, Wendy here. Welcome to the healthy and thriving career moms podcast, your weekly dose of inspiration and motivation. The thriving with your healthy habits, especially in the midst of the crazy mom juggle, I get that you're busy and that taking time for you is not always easy, but I'm here to help. So let's jump in. Hi guys, and welcome to the healthy and thriving Curry amongst top costs. I am so excited today because we have. First guests interview of series one. And that is the amazing implementable Janet Murray, who I've been a total Fango of for so many years now. And I'm blushing even saying that with her, listening to me saying that, but yes, I'm so excited to have her on as our first guests and why it's.

So serendipitous is because actually the reason this whole podcast is coming to being is as a result of winning. Janet Murray's podcast competition, which she put on earlier in the year and her membership. So it just seemed fitting that she would come on and be my first guest. So thank you so much for joining us today.

Janet: 01:26

Thank you for having me. I feel very honored to be asked to be a guest. So thank you. You've been such a pivotal part of my business journey and my career to date. And I would love you to tell the audience a little bit more about you. Cause I know there's sort of many facets to you and your career, and it's just such an interesting. So the way I normally introduce myself as, as a concept marketing expert, I help business owners to create engaging content that basically helps them sell their stuff, but do it in a number of ways. I sell a content planner. It's a, an April desk diary that has key dates, awareness days, content prompts.

It's got planning templates in it. I've also got, I do a virtual event every year, which is a content planning events will help people to plan their content for the coming year. And I also have a membership. Evolving. And we can probably talk more about that as we go, because I've done a lot of evolving as I've gone along. I was a school teacher to start off with, and then I retrained in journalism and I can sometimes hardly remember how it happened. I was working mainly for the

02:30

Guardian newspaper and I was actually, I was finding it quite challenging because I had a young child and a lot of people think journalists get paid a lot of money and unless they. Got the big jobs at the BBC. They generally don't you get paid by the word as I was waiting for quite a prestigious publication, but maybe not necessarily making as much money as people might imagine and working really hard for it. And people started to approach me and say, oh, could you come. You obviously understand how to get press coverage and how to work with journalists. Could you come and deliver some training in our company? So I used to go and do that. And then I started to think, well, how can I get more of this work? How can I get people to find me rather than wait for people to ask me? So I thought, oh, I'll start a blog and I'll start this blog. And then people will find me online and then they'll book me. And then of course I started the blog and thought, oh, well, it's not enough to have a blog. People actually have to read it. And I had quite a good following on two. Some people read it and they seem to like it, but it was like, well, how can I get people who don't know about me to read this blog? So I started finding out about SEO search

03:30

engine optimization. I started to learn about things like email marketing and using social media to help people find you online rather than kind of wait to be found. And I just got really interested in it because it's a lot of it's about psychology and understanding like how people respond to content and how to get people to respond to content. Part of what you do as a journalist, we're increasingly in the online world. And I started to enjoy it more than journalism. I found it easier as a journalist. I was often working to quite tight deadlines and people would see me in the playground and they'd say, oh, it's so nice for you. That you'll freelance. I'd be like, yeah, but I've been up since four o'clock line. You know, it, wasn't always easy having a small child at home. So. Pivoted into, oh, maybe I could start to teach people about how to get press and PR online. So I moved into that and I discovered early on, and I'm glad I did that. It's really important to sell what people want to pay for, not what you want

04:30

to sell. So I started setting online courses in press and PR. And gradually I've kind of pivoted from there. Uh, started a podcast just again, thinking, well, how can I get in front of more people who don't know about me? What would be a good way? Oh, I know. I'll start a podcast and see how that goes. And most of what I've done, the planner included has been, oh, wouldn't it be a good idea to do that? Why don't I just try. Now, I've got this multi six figure business where I've got the planet, I've got physical products, I've got the membership, I've got the event that I do. And this year I've made a decision. I was actually running team memberships, but I made the decision to just stick with the one thing to take my own advice and to actually focus on a really tight niche. I used to. Like audience building, which took in so many different things. And now I'm just focusing on content planning and content creation, which is my favorite thing. So it's been a kind of a journey of just unexpected twists and turns. None of it was planned. And I like where I've ended up. I love that.

Wendy: 05:30

You're so candid about that because I think sometimes people look at successful business woman or women who have successful careers and just think, oh, let's just, oh, it's landed in her lap hole. That's so lucky for her. Or it's easy for her. And actually what I love so much about your work is that you are very honest about what it takes behind the scenes to build a successful business or career.

And I love that you've done both the career and have been a business owner and you've done an all around being a mom. So can you tell me a little bit more about what that looked like and maybe some of the struggles that you found in managing career and being a working mum.

Janet: 06:08

It's been quite a bumpy journey in every way that you can possibly imagine. I always really, really wanted to be a mum. I always wanted three or four children cause I'm a, I'm one of two. And I always had this idea that it would be great to have a house full of kids. And so I had some fertility issues and it took me quite a while to have my daughter. It turned out there was some underlying unrelated health conditions. So I got on top of that. I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. That hit me a lot harder ever word. Like I could never really understand why people would say upset about miscarriages until it started to happen. And then I, and apologies for anyone listening. I'm going to talk about some things which might be about upsetting if that's okay with Wendy.

Wendy: 06:52

Absolutely. I've been very open about my fertility struggles and miscarriage, and I think it's certainly very important that we bring this stuff into the lights.

Janet: 07:00

It's also about how you manage with that with work as well and running a business because it's really tough to go through it, but you've still got to show up and do. And so I did go on to have my daughter. I was a wreck when I was pregnant, because I was so terrified of something going wrong again. And my daughter then turns up three months early. I laugh. It wasn't funny. At the time she turned out three months early. She was really poorly. She was in neonatal intensive care for three months, which was

07:30

really stressful. I was a freelance journalist at the time and I kind of worked. Partly because we needed the money, but partly because it just helps to have something to do that just kind of is something to distract me from all the worry she was. We eventually got home after about three months. She's 16 now, but I feel like it happened yesterday and she's very lucky and that she hasn't got any long-lasting health issues. Although we might get. Say something later and she's really tall and she's, you know, she's taller than me and it's all it all turns out by now. And you've got that little picture on your social media of her when she was premature. Yeah, it was the worst. I mean, I know, I see people go through it again and again, and I never know how they do it because I was just beside myself with worry. I just couldn't function. And when she was a small child, I used to go in. And I said, my husband thinks I could bear to go in and check her. Cause I was so terrified. Something awful would happen. I had no idea that mother

Wendy: 08:31

like alarm, if anything happened, she stopped breathing. And one night that alarm. And it, I mean, I've never, and it was just cause she'd rolled off the mat and I was like, right, this is helping us, my psyche right now.

Janet: 08:44

Nobody prepares you for just how hellish it is to have something that you love so much and be so afraid of. But at the same time, I was very career focused. I couldn't really start working because I was freelance and because everything had hadn't really planned for that to happen. I was going to work right up until I had her. And I just tried to work at home when she was asleep. We use the Jean afford method, which I think some people don't think is so great. But. It was the savior for me, sort of getting her to sleep at certain times. And so that I could just get on with work, but I wasn't prepared for it, how boring it was and how much I love my daughter, but just how boring it was being at home with the baby and playing, like I've been diagnosed with ADHD,

Wendy: 09:31

Janet: 09:45

For me, if the activity had a goal, so to make a cake or to do some craft or do something where there was like a, this is what he's done, and this is where it finishes and we get something at the end, but just that kind of lying on the floor, playing with those.

Wendy: 09:59

My husband is so good at that.

Janet: 10:03

So yeah, it wasn't prepared or was ever how lonely it was. My daughter was obviously born three months prematurely. So I missed the only NCT classes. And so I didn't get to meet any other mums. Although some people might say, that's not such a bad. Yeah. My health visitor put me in touch with some other moms. Who'd had babies, but I had nothing in common with them. Cause I all had like big pony babies who weren't on all sorts of medication. And I just felt like I didn't fit in. And I think, but I realize I probably would have been like that. Yeah.

10:30

And just the whole, I dunno, like talking about nappies and formula in it, I kind of thought that I would be interested in that, but it was decent completed in the mums. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of judgment and a lot of competition as well, and, and not a lot of community. And as somebody that was quite career focused before he made quite a wrong decisions. Based on my fear of other people's judgment about childcare and things. And I often say to people now that if I could change things, one thing I would put my daughter into childcare for longer because I tried to, I tried to struggle on her, you know, like half time childcare when I really need.

Wendy: 11:10

I'm so glad that you pull this out, because that is the one thing I say for me, what I want it to be my own business owner was to have the flexibility, but I think I was so consumed with trying to seem like I had it all together and that I could be this fully present mom and smashed it in the boardroom. Not literally, but you know what I mean? And I just, I stress myself out. So absolutely. Thank you for saying that because. Someone might be listening to this and needed that permission.

Janet: 11:37

Yeah. I just think that there's so much judgment. And I had a childminder who didn't work during the summer holidays or school hundred days, which was fine. So what I should have said is, okay, I'm going to work full time and get my daughter with her and then we'll take the holidays off together and we'll work that out. But I tried to exist on two or three days. In fact, it got so bad at one point that I actually went

12:00

back to teaching for little while, but I did it for about a year, like very part-time and I was like, no, I don't want to do this. There was a reason why I didn't want to do this. And I think also I didn't articulate. So I remember when my daughter started school, I think I made the wrong decision about what school to send it to, because it was based around my panic about not being able to get my work done. And I remember saying to my husband at the time, I need you to take some time. To help me when she starts school, because she was really clean. And I, my husband, he just immediately was defensive. I can't take any time off, so I didn't pursue

12:30

it. Whereas me now would be like, no, come on. But you've got to do your bit here. And I ended up probably making the wrong decision about school and childcare because I was so worried about having to Cate with a lot of that on my, um, and I remember one of the modules was she did when he struggled sales as settle into school and she was only moving to the classroom next door. But one of the other moms said to me on the playground. Three children who were all born, perfectly healthy, no health problems and had each other at the school. And my daughter was crying every single day at the school gate.

13:00

And I remember thinking, this is never going to end. And she said, well, you know, it comes to a point. You just need to tell her to stop crying, you know? And I just like, well, that's all very well for you. If your three children, who've got each other,

Wendy: 13:11

you know, I have an early child, like you, I am an early child. It's interesting. There's a lot of people who should on you with what you should and shouldn't do. And I think as moms, we just need to just kind of check ourselves sometimes on the advice we give other moms and it's so easy to do, isn't it? Oh, you should do this. You should do that. But actually I think if we can just share our experiences and lessons learned rather than.

Janet: 13:34

Yeah. And, and, and, and support, you know, another mum made me this beautiful shoe box and this like imaginary rabbit that we gave to my daughter. And she made up this whole story with this little sheet box, with this rabbit. And this little, my daughter still talks about it now. And this imaginary rabbit that was going to look after that was more helpful. This creative parent who made, he made this little, little shoe box of. And this whole story that this rabbit was looking after my daughter, that was much more helpful than telling me I should tell her to stop crying.

Wendy: 14:00

That is amazing. I'm much more the mum who's like should we go for wine? I'm a health coach, but I think just it's more so it can be coffee. It can be anything, but I think sometimes you just need to look at that mum who looks overwhelmed and just be like, I got you.

Janet: 14:21

Yeah. I think we need to put our arms around each other rather than be separate. And I had other incidents where there was a time. My daughter had a graduation ceremony from nursery or something. Ridiculous. Anyway, but, and I had a meeting and it was about a piece of work that would pay off a mortgage for months and months. So I got my mum to come with me and I got my mom's set with me at the front. My daughter's really close to my mum. She's almost as good as having me, but I got up to leave and sit at the back just so that I could get out quickly without trampling all over everyone. And she started to cry. 'cause she thought I'd gone. And I had these moms saying about me at the, you know, oh, she's gone to work.

15:00

And it was like, work was the most disgusting thing you could ever do. And to hear that judgment reflected back at you was quite quite interesting, but one of those, all of those experiences, I think helped build up that resilience business.

Wendy: 15:14

It's life lessons. I have a husband who's hands on and I'm always just sitting there with this like inferiority complex when it comes to my husband. He's like: I would happily be a house husband, but there's certain things that you need to do as a female. And I really resonate with what you're saying, because I'll go on a business trip and I'll go away for five days. And I, you know, it's like, oh goodness, who's gonna look after your daughter and in fact,

Janet: 15:39

when I went to the Philippines twice on a business retreat, which was a big decision for me, My daughter was probably about six or seven. And people said, he's going to look after her. Dad is going to look after her because he's her father and she will be fine, but I was so glad that I did it. And I hope that I'm setting a good example to her that it's okay to have a family and travel and to follow your career. And that you don't have to apologize. As she's got older, I've got less and less apologetic about everything.

I just think

Wendy: 16:10

as much as this is the healthy and thriving career mums cause I just believe you need to do, what's going to keep your health and wellbeing in check so that you can be a healthy and fulfilled parent because there is no point in trying to do everything on the list that you think you've got to do in order to conform to whose norms whose societal expectations, because actually it's about you feeling whole within yourself. And I know you're someone who strikes me as having an incredible amount of self-aware. Of who they are as a person and what makes them tick. And just that feeling of no judgments for ourselves, particularly, because I think as mothers, we're the worst at judging ourselves.

Definitely. And I don't

Janet: 16:49

cook really anymore. My husband's cooks and he's got a fussy eater. His moms said to me, oh, do you know what I used to like cooking? And then I had him and it put me off and I seen, came to the same conclusion. There's a lot of moms listening to this right now who are like, I've got the fussy kids. They're on the way. And my daughter started saying no to a few things. And I'm saying that you had even tried it. I've stopped all the girls about that. I hate anything domestic, any cleaning or laundry. And as I've got older, I've got less apologetic about if I can pay somebody else.

Wendy: 17:27

I'm the opposite. I love to cook. And I can't be, I can't follow a recipe in that sense, but I can cook really well. I actually like doing domestic tasks, but if I can pay someone to clean and so that, that frees me up, I would much rather. And, and this is what I always try to get across to moms is delegation and actually paying as a business owner. If your hourly rate is a certain amount and you can delegate that task to someone who's hourly rate to say on that amount, then actually it's more productive for you to work and do something you enjoy,

18:00

assuming you do your other calls. So I think it's also just about getting comfortable around that. And I read such a great article the other day about these business owners who paid a, had housekeepers. When you look at the amount that they were spending, it wasn't something that's for the rich and famous, but actually I was. Those are some great goals to have.

And there's also some things people can do nowadays meal delivery services, and there's lots of hacks. And I think as women now, as you say that whole being a present parents and that's different for everybody. So I love that. You're very honest about those things and the challenges

Janet: 18:32

And my daughter says to me, if my husband's out what are we having baked potato KFC pizza express, or last night it was giant competes. Apparently I'll make the best mash in the world. So if I can rouse myself, I'll make sausage and mash. But I used to, I used to worry about the fact that I didn't cook, but my husband's really fussy. It used to take eight years. I'd rather wash up and cook. And, um, so, you know, it works. He cooks things that he will eat and we just eat them. And everybody's happy.

Wendy: 19:01

Everybody just thinks that you're not very healthy because that's actually not, you. You're actually a person who looks after their health, both mentally and physically. And I know running's a big part of how you've coped with stresses over the years. So tell me a bit more about those healthy habits that you.

Janet: 19:19

So I definitely have healthy exercise habits. I would say my diet isn't always as healthy, but I run regularly. And that is the thing that really keeps me going. And even if I get to the end of the day, cause sometimes I do work really long hours and it really gets on my nerves when people pretend that they don't work long hours. I think a lot of people who have a business like mine, they certainly will put. The hours may be not to the extent that I do, but they're certainly putting in a good day's work and I will get to the end of the day. And for me, if I feel myself starting to get quite negative or just feeling tired and grumpy running is like the best thing ever, because you go out, I run with a few different running clubs. I feel so much better.

20:00

The confidence that I've got from running, because I didn't use to think I was very good at sport and it turns out. Uh, quite a bit better than I thought it was. I've just qualified as a run leader actually, to run, to help other women actually. Cause I remember going to the running clubs the first time and just being like, oh my God, everyone's going to be so fast. And I really believe in inclusivity and that you don't have to be a fast runner to get something out of running. And I hate the fact that people might not run because they think it's only for super fast, sporty, sporty people. So I've just, I've been

20:30

helping to run a note to 5k program, which has been really, really nice. But for me, it is more about the mental thing, but I also, I feel a lot better when I'm, when I am at a weight that is healthy and I'm not feeling sluggish or my clothes are too tight or whatever. So there is that part of it as well. But for me, it's, it's the mental shift. So if I go out and have a run or even just walk around. It's about movement. It just changes your body chemistry and you, you can fill it and I can have a terrible day go out for a run or go out and meet some friends for a while and come back and feel on top of the world. And for me, that's what it's about. I think

Wendy: 21:04

so amazing. And how do people maybe would think, oh, I'll go to the pub and have a drink. Seasoned people, but actually it's the endorphins it's getting the dope mean. All the serotonin release, all that good stuff, pumping through your veins. That is, I know for me, sometimes I just don't feel like working out. And then I always, I love the feeling in my body and my muscles when I have done it. So I totally resonate with what you're saying. And exercise for me is such a coping

21:30

strategy for so much. Especially everyday stresses. And I think that not to 5k is just an incredible thing. And so many women in this community will be looking to do, you know, the couch to 5k app is amazing. I didn't know this until recently. I've never used it and you have different voices. And I think as you say that inclusivity, and I think a lot of women are intimidated. They'll go join a gym or they'll go to a running club and it's intimidating

Janet: 21:57

Yeah, one of the things I've really enjoyed about. To kind of just give people the encouragement to come back. And if, you know, just to say, I was aimed to go and talk to everyone in my little section, because that's half of it, isn't it? Like you go somewhere and you get involved in something and nobody talks to you. I know it includes even. So for me, it's always about like,

Wendy: 22:15

it feels a bit like school when you don't get picked and all those things come back, flooding back to you, the shame and you know, that school feeling where you don't know anyone. And once you become a mother. You go back into those types of environments. I think as long as your confidence has been a bit shaken. And I think having inclusivity like that is just incredible.

Janet: 22:37

Yeah. I think there's just so much confidence to be had, and I've seen it time and time again from when your body is doing things for you. Yeah. Like, wow, I didn't know I could do that, but now I've done sort of running out in the woods and stuff and I see myself climbing over things or crawling under things. Nothing. I never dealt with it on that before. Cause I would have been really self-conscious about myself and it was amazing how much it can change your brain,

Wendy: 23:00

reshaping those neural pathways. I love all that. neuroplasticity but before we finish off, I would love for you to tell our listeners more about how they could work with you. If what you've said today has really resonated. And I know for me having been a part of your membership the last couple of years has been such a game changer for me and my business. It's the reason that I'm sitting here on a podcast right now, talking to you and just being able to share. The way that you've been able to teach me to share my heart and message. And my content with other people has made such a huge difference to my confidence. So I just could not be more of a fan.

Janet: 23:38

Oh, that's very nice to hear. And I should've said this at the beginning, but my brand has evolved so much in, and it's now the courageous content planet and courageous content. And that really came from, there was a podcast interview I did quite a few years ago. The guests sort of turn the tables on me and started catching me. And she was a branding expert. And she said to me, I don't think what you really do is teach people about content and audience building. I think what you do is you

24:00

help to give people courage. And I was like, yeah, I think that's fine. And that's the thing that anchors me as well as the, when I'm having a bad day or things are going wrong. Or, and I think, what am I here for? Yes. I'm here to teach people about content. The thing I'm most proud of is things like encouraging women to make reels. Like I was just editing a video with you on it before that's got, I've got 85 K I wanted my and views. And you taught me that. Yeah. And for me, it isn't even about like how many views people get.

24:30

It's more about somebody says I was too scared to do that and now I've done it. And it isn't just about video. It can be people who are too scared to share their opinion or. Well, just, he's got to have a go.

Wendy: 24:38

You really taught me how to do that in a way that challenges me with the right amounts of courage. And I thought about going out there and sort of bearing your soul either, but at the same time, they all certain things. And we could all afford to be a bit more courageous with

Janet: 24:54

The analogy that comes to mind for me, because it's about that. A lot of people say to me, I just want somebody to tell me what's supposed to where and when, well, that's not helpful because we've all got different businesses and different audiences and different messages we need to share. But what I've tried to do is create something that's as close to that as possible. That gives you the scaffolding's. I've got this planner this year, and it's got this four by four content strategy, four styles of content, four days a week. There is a plan that you can follow in adapt. She said, it's probably as close as you could get to templates without being templates because they're rubbish and they don't work. But I think about my own journey with fitness actually. And I think about, I got a personal trainer and it was the best thing that I ever did because I was terrified in that gym. I didn't know what things did.

25:30

I didn't know what I could do. Someone would show me how to do something on my induction. Then I forget the next time. And although it felt like a big investment. To start off with, as I can remember, it was like 30 pounds an hour, four times. That was a lot of money for me at the time. But my personal trainer, Paul, who I was still speak very fondly of, I can't begin to just having him there by my side. And he just telling me what to do when and having my program to follow. So when I went back to the gym, I knew what I had to do in what order. Really probably what courageous content is about people often say to me,

26:00

well, how do I get courageous enough to do video? But you have to make video. Unfortunately there no way around it. I can't give you a magic trick. It's like having you there to give us the encouragement, give us the tracks to run on. If you want to Excel in an area of your life, it is about that investment. And I think it's about like your stable. It's like, I know what to do when I get in the gym, I've got a little list of things that I can do to follow. And then when you get more confident, you get your wings and you start doing more of your own thing, but sometimes you just need that structure. And this is not just for new business owners. I've had

26:30

people, who've had a business for years and years and years. They're just not, they're just new to online. And then you to creating content online and making sales. And the last point, I want to make consistency. Isn't enough unfortunately you've got to create good engaging content, which is something that you've learned. Like she can show up regularly and not make a single sale. You've got to take risks. So I do stupid things like dress up in Batman outfit things, and then people go, okay, well, she can do that. Then I can have a go. So that's really what it's about for me. And the best place to, if you want to find out about any of this stuff is my website, which is Janet murray.co.uk. If Wendy's opens to it we normally give podcast guests a code.

Wendy: 27:05

Yes, absolutely. I want everybody to know about you because as I say, you've been such a game changer for me in my life and business. And just giving me so much confidence as a working mom. I'm not just from a content perspective, but also just as an example of someone who is very real about these struggles, very honest and just continues to put one foot in front of the other. And I think as moms, sometimes we've just got to remember that we're all just doing our thing. Consistency, slow and steady.

Janet: 27:31

Yeah. So that's website Instagram at Jen Murray UK, tag me a link

Wendy: 27:36

and go check out a really fabulous, you know, it's so true. You sort of start off going. I could never get into this real thing. And then next minute, you're in a black woman outfit, you know? Exactly. Thank you so much for all your wisdom and your real honesty and vulnerability today. I've heard you talk about your story a few times, but even listening to you again today is just a really resonated with so many of the stories that you share, just being of my own struggles and journey. And I know that there'll be a lot of listeners who do as well. So thank you so much. And we will speak to you.

Janet: 28:09

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Wendy: 28:12

So what kind of busy mom or you take my free quiz and find out which of the full profiles you might be. You'll get your results straight away, and I'll even send you my top tips based on your results to support you on your journey, to healthy and thriving. Go to the link in my show notes and take a couple of minutes to find out what you are.

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Thank you for listening to the healthy and thriving career moms podcast. For more resources to support you on your journey. Visit my website, Wendy griffith.co.uk. And please also come join our Facebook community healthy and thriving career mums. This is a safe, no judgment space where we share and inspire each other. And if you got value from today's episode, I'd be so grateful. If you would share this with other career moms who would benefit to either through social media or leaving a five-star review, you can find me at Wendy Griffith, live healthy on

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Instagram and Facebook until next time. God bless, stay healthy and keep thiving.