How to stay focused on a daily basis

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Hi guys, Wendy here. Welcome to the healthy and thriving career moms podcast, your weekly dose of inspiration and motivation for thriving with your healthy habits, especially in the midst of the crazy mom juggle. I get that you're busy and that taking time for you is not always easy. But I'm here to help.

So let's jump in.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to today's podcast. And I am

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very excited to have our guest today. The amazing and formidable Lesley Collins. Who is not only a friend, but also a mentor to me in my business. And I just thought she was the perfect example to come in and talk to us about the juggle, the mum, guilt, all the stuff that we deal with as working moms.

So thanks so much for joining us today. Lesley. I'm so chuffed that you're here. Oh, I'm so chuffed. Thank you so much for having me. I have been so excited to do this podcast because I

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just think. You are such a great candidate to really put on the spot and really drill down into the habits that support you as a busy working mum and maybe some of the not so healthy habits too.

I know that you're really good about keeping that real, but firstly, tell me a bit more about yourself and what your background is and how you came to be there working on. Thank you so much for having me. This is so exciting. So I'm Lesley and I I'm married to my husband. You and we have two kids, Dylan is four, and

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Daniel is one and a half, I think.

Am I keeping track?

And then your ones and yes, I have a business with a company called Arbonne. That's been about 12 years that I've been with the company now. So I started out as a marketing executive after university, quickly disillusioned with that. What else? To be honest and realizing that maybe they can have nine to five life actually wasn't for me, I wanted more

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I was ambitious. I was driven. And then. I came across this company called Arbonne. And then don't tend to that work to along sidefor a couple of years, and now I've been self-employed for the last 10 years. Just crazy. Amazing. And considering you did that from your sort of early twenties, when I suppose so many of us are in the graduate jobs and working our way up the corporate ladder, certainly that was my story.

Yeah, that's exactly what I thought my life would be as well. And to be honest, had this not landed on my lap, I don't think I was out there

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searching for it. It was an unexpected sort of gift as. So a really good friend of mine. One of my best friends, her mom actually started a business with the company. And at first we kind of all thought, this woman is mad? What is she doing?

Is she like selling lipstick,

What is this thing? went a long to, and actually to be completely transparent. I actually said no to this for over a year. Didn't think it was for me, definitely thought corporate world was for me. I went to the

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kid year. The only way I ever saw my life going, but it wasn't until I really experienced the reality of that nine to five and the limited possibilities that I thought I need to be the best marketer in and take a look at some other options.

And this was still there and it was still kind of screaming at me going, hello? I'm here, come and have a, like I, when I really looked center, I was like, this is ticket. Yeah. And it's so interesting because I'm smiling along to myself because we

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met about 10 years ago when I too started my Arbonne business.

And I just remember so vividly having a conversation with you. And I actually thought because you sounded so mature on the phone that you were, like, I told her that you were not younger than me actually. And I just remember you saying something about coming to the gym in the morning and was like, oh, well that's a revelation.

It's at that stage in my busy corporate career was literally getting up at the crack of dawn,

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putting in a full workday, working out in the evenings, commuting home, just in that whole kind of corporate rat race. And I was just listening to you talk about going to the gym in the morning. Oh, my goodness.

That's the dream. So I don't know why, like that story just clings to mind, but obviously, we have both started our businesses in one season of our life, but now we're both working mums. Now we both are self-employed and we run our businesses around our kids and obviously, life looks very different now. So can you talk to me a little bit more about what that looks like?

Yeah, so

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Life is very different. When I first became self-employed I actually found it really difficult because I had so much time. And here's one of the lessons of life. I guess I look back to that woman who is like 27, 28. I had all day to do all the things that I needed to do. And now.

But no, obviously for the last four years there's been chosen this part of my life

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and a business to run and that changed things massively and well, I'll definitely not say as that, I found that transition easy. I didn't, and I don't think many people. We have also had multiple changes in terms of my husband's career because he's been at home some of the time, but mostly he's done work that involves him going away, whether it's for a few nights, sort of the moment, sometimes two or even three weeks at a time.

So definitely massively having to make

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adaptations to my life, to support. Not only be in a present mum but being a business owner and yeah. Various things, I think you need to put in place to make that happen. Absolutely. So let's talk about some of those things, some of those habits, because I always feel that you're such a fantastic example of this with your business.

And I know your schedule's different depending on whether you're at home or he's away. But talk to me about some of like the core healthy habits and I suppose, systems that

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you have to support you as a working mother. And then perhaps how that changes slightly when you are literally flying solo, because there are a lot of listeners of this podcast that are solo parents or single parents.

Yeah. Oh, I love this topic of discussion and you know what, the first thing that I really want to see is I think first and foremost, what I hold as a really valuable core belief is that you can be a present mum and you can be a successful career woman. I just feel like that's so

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important because I think sometimes as women, we can be susceptible to other people's beliefs that come in the way that maybe they don't believe that that to be true.

I absolutely believe that to be true. And I think if you hold. As a core belief in yourself, you will find ways to make that happen because absolutely. Thank you so much for saying that. I mean, I sometimes feel like we just need to talk about that more and more and more because as a society we're told you can have it all.

Oh. But you know,

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it's that whole thing. And don't even get me on my soap box about the whole way that society is structured in terms of a women's place. Many of us will maybe choose to go to university or not nowadays build up these careers. And then it's like, oh, you got to get off the career ladder to have your kids, but all joking off too soon, or get, get off at the right time.

So you can jump back in all these things. And that's why certainly I see more and more women starting businesses online because of needing that flexibility, but still

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wanting that sense of achievement and that sense of reward and earning and all those things. So I'm so glad that you've said. Yeah, a hundred percent remove the guilt as well to all the pain and say, there are less than like, please remove the guilt because you're doing an amazing job.

But in terms of habits, I would say that’s something that I love. And it's maybe I know not everyone's can not. Bag if you like, but scheduling and planning is everything for me. I am

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That person, but it just helps me get a real hold and a grasp of what's going on. So I, my main care planning points and what I don't mean as I go into massive detail with my plans, I don't, but I do set out on a Sunday.

I'll look at the week and I have three major things that I want out of my week. I want family and fun time. I want work time and I want exercise time. Yeah, there are three fundamentals that I'll make sure are in there. So

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back to that as a priority, because I think so often we'll sit down to plan as mums and then we'll put all the stuff we have to do, but not put any time in, for what we need, the fun, the exercise, the things that replenish us.

Yeah, a hundred percent and I think it's just define it for you. What, what is that? What so important for you to get out of your week? So if I look at in advance at my diary quite often, that's not naturally happened because we are the ones right that have to make it happen. So I look at it and I think, well, what do I

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need to change?

What help do I need to call in to make sure that I have that work time? What classes do I need to book? What childcare do I need to organise? What events, do I need to book, you know, in order to fulfill these things. And then I also do planning the night before. So the night before the next day, I'll have a much more detailed plan of how the day's going to go.

And because I know how this makes sense, but it's not about being ah, it’s seven 15, and I was supposed to do that at 6 45.

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It's actually, for me more than anything getting down on paper how I would love the day to go. But I do give myself that grace and kindness, but it's with two young children and with things that come up in your business life and all that, it's not always going to be perfect.

But if I came to know roughly how it's going to go, I can get the priority. Then I can organize the things that need organized. I can make the call the night before to things that need to be done. I think it's about having that intention. And I think this is something you've taught me to do. And

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you say, you're that person, I'm that person too.

People often say to me, how do you do it all? And it's like, I am very intentional with my time. And like you, I plan it out. I actually usually do that on a Saturday morning. That's my little routine in bed with a cup of coffee, or a fizz stick I will sit there and plan out my week ahead because I love to take a digital detox on a Sunday.

So I like to kind of do all that before the Sunday comes. And as you say, having that detailed plan the night before. So I, my thing is that I will list out

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the five things, but then really the top three. Cause I think sometimes as moms, we have such a long to-do list now setting ourselves up. So I love the fact that yours is more about how your day goes, as opposed to I’ve got to do this, this, this, this, this, and put all that pressure on yourself.

And then you're also, cause I do have a to-do list as well, but what I do with the daily plan is I actually take items from that to-do list and put it in the daily plan. So I'm not just sitting down for like two hours of a slot where I do

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things and I’m kinda looking at that to-do list, aaaagh. Like I know for me as a coping strategy as well, or just for.

General motherhood, but also with my ADHD, because things come into my brain all the time. I think that's just being a mum, by the way, I followed away on a list on my phone that I had. But then I'll have the time blocks. So when it's life admin time blocking the week, I'll come to the list and I'll pick off those things rather than it just

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interrupting me all the time.

And I think you're quite similar in that you have those kind of chunks of time. I think you're the same as me. You don't have your notifications enabled. You're very strict with how you access social media and technolgy. I think I did that over a lockdown because I think it just all got crazy at some point over a day and our notifications and all of that, obviously kind of quadrupled because it was our only way of connecting and social media got busier and all that.

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Oh, you know, he definitely needs to say put it yourself from it because I think I also realized as my boys got older, that they really noticed that when I'm on my phone and I really don't want to always have my life like doing all the things I want to have that time with my boys when I'm present and let's face it when that dang, dang, dang, dang.

that’s a constant stresser. That you're saying what am I missing? What am I missing? Is that something important? That being damaging? Yeah. Like I

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definitely tend to all of that and disabled this, I do keep my WhatsApp. I have those notifications because sometimes those are timely. We use that for our business, but everything else is turned off.

Yeah. I was always saying to people, if you need to get hold of me in an emergency, text me or call me my team. Know my family knows. I mean, sometimes my husband will message me. I know you probably haven't looked at WhatsApp, but blah, blah, blah, whatever the message is. So he knows just to ping me on text because actually

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that's something I do have enabled that I'll see and look at.

But yeah, if I was to have the constant pinging, I mean, literally my brain would explode. It just doesn't work for me in it. It just keeps me focused and protects my time. And as you say, set that example for our kids. Although in saying I came home yesterday and my husband was sat there with my little girl and I was like, what are you guys doing?

And she had his phone and she was videoing them coloring, and she's like, I'm doing a video for people. So that's so

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cute because she, and she wants to be like, mommy. So it does make me laugh. They pick up everything, the good and the bad. For sure. Sometimes you don't realize how much your brain is somewhere else.

Hands up. I am guilty. The if I'm trying to respond to something, deal with something and I'm with the kids. and I'm trying to do something else. That's when I'll become a

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shouty mom, that's when I go, oh, and it's not them it's because I'm trying to do all these things. And it's just, I couldn't prevent that.

Actually if I just put the phone away. A phone call or a text is a request for your time not a demand. So I need to remind myself that. But we can be guilty of that. Right? As business owners, we care about our business and some times that need to respond or whoever is just, it is too high. And it's based just to kind of put the phone upstairs

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and go down and do the things you need to do, be in the moment of what you're doing at that time.

Absolutely. And I follow a similar system and it just creates brain space. Like they say, when you go on holiday, suddenly you get all these great ideas and so much is allowed to actually come into your headspace because it's not so full of all the stuff. And that's why obviously meditation is such a good one for people.

Because it's just having that quiet and not having that barrage of things. And I think more than ever now working moms, you have all the things. I mean, you know, my Jessie has just

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started for section and I've got the class dojo and I've got the tapestry app and all the things and don't get me wrong. It's great. I think how do parents do this before?

Yes. So then I've got the mum's WhatsApp list and I'm like, and I've only got one. So the moms with four or five kids, I'm just like: How? You're amazing. Yeah. And so tell me, and obviously exercises are a big part of your routine. You love your exercise.

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I do. I have realized over the years, and I suppose there has been a realization with having the boys as well.

When you maybe have that downtime and exercise, you realize how much you're doing it, not just for the health and yes, the fitness and maybe a bit of the physical and actually it's the mind like, oh my goodness, exercise women say I go running from my mental health and like, what is she talking about? I really honestly didn't

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understand that.

I think before I had children, but yes, a hundred percent. It is just that. But you ran a marathon! I did run a marathon. I don’t know how I did that. No. I enjoy running. I don't know if I would ever run a marathon again, I love physical challenge and I love pushing myself and knowing that I'm capable of more, but even downstairs in my living room for five minutes, the endorphins, focus that it

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gives me.

Yeah. I love your dance parties that you have with your boys like … follows you on Instagram and sees your stories. If you don't, you need to go follow Lesley cause her... Well, Dylan, he is so into the greatest showman. So your dance parties are epic. Oh, we have the best time. I actually think that’s a very good tip. If we’re at home and I don't know if any other parents are the same, but my kids, they want to watch the telly, we've got a million toys.

We've got all the coloring. You can do all the activities and they always go back to the television.

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And what I realized was that if I can put the tunes on, play them really loud. and we’re all down for about, they are in their element. Like we're all in our element, when you were a kid, if your mom did that. Yeah. That would’ve just been like, you're the coolest mom that ever lived.

Well, luckily I've got boys that are just really into music. They love it. And we have regular kitchen dance parties.

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My husband and I, we love a little bit of dance music. So we tend to put like the Ibiza dance tunes on and it goes, the other day. This is terrible probably shouldn’t be sharing the story, but we were in the car and she had an iPad.

Next minute I hear her. Oh, what was the song? But anyway, she's singing this dancetrack . She’d gone onto the music of my iPad because it's my old iPad. And she was like singing along to this dance tune. And I was like, oh my gosh, I need to actually check that and delete that off and make…

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It’s like the explicit lyrics suddenly, what’s coming out of her mouth?

Fortunately they weren’t in the… , you know, she was singing this dance track and my husband and I were just like looking at each other, and going: What? Like he loves music as well. So I think that's such a great tip. Is it, it doesn't always have to be all the exciting adventures and expensive things. It can just be dancing around. I think you guys have a cape don't you as well, like.

Oh, he's got the feel greatest showman get up yeah. He loves this. The younger ones they

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follow in his footsteps, but morning routine is definitely one for me. I've got a two year, nearly one and a half two. We don't know what age he is, do we? Lesley is not sure how old her second child is. .. you know, and my husband's, I mean, even though we all last week, Half past six in the morning, we do a sort of a Zoom call that is called a miracle morning.

Basically, it's a call that we all get together. And what is a miracle

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morning for someone who hasn’t heard of it? Basically a series of habits that set off your day well, that get your mind onto the right space? We do various things on that, like dancing around for a couple of minutes. Breathing, we do gratitude

it’s just amazing. Just amazing. And I have come to be the person over the last few years since implementing those routines, whether it be as part of a private group, which is really

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helpful because it's about accountability. Absolutely. Or on my own. I've come to rely on those habits now, as a way to start the well, but what I will say is with all circumstances, it very rarely looks perfect.

So I have this vision in my mind of this day when I'll get up and I'll be in a peaceful room and I'll do my miracle morning for half an hour and I'll be able to read. But at the moment, my reality is it

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very rarely looks like that, but you know what? Done is better than perfect. And if I get on that call and I'm also serving up some Weetabix, and I'm also chopping up an apple and serving some drinks.

And letting them have a fizz stick, which they always ask for the morning and I've even taken 25% of that away, I'm still in a better place than I would have been if I hadn’t done it. And that's something like our ‘be well’ calls in the morning. We love those. And I love jumping on those as well. And as I say, most of the time,

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it's me and Jessie together.

And she loves the dance-off cause that's her favorite part. Especially recently we had the Waka Waka with Shakira and like, just get some going. But yeah, and I suppose someone might be listening to this thinking, what on earth are you talking about? There is no way that I am getting on a zoom call with my hair all over the place in my PJ's.

We all do. I mean, some people, you know, you can turn your camera if you don't want to. But for me, it's just that, as you say, that accountability, that intention setting for the

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day ahead and last week when my little girl was ill, she was home with a cold, it was difficult. My husband was away as well. And I wasn't managing to take as much from those calls.

And by the time I got to the weekend, I just felt all a bit discombobulated. And when I said to my husband, I said, it's this week and I need to spend a bit more time in the morning. I already felt the difference of not having been able to be on as much. Definitely. If I ever am not on that call what I'll always make sure is...

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There's certain fights for me that make a beggar difference. And the biggest one for me is gratitude. So that gratitude exercise is life-changing. Absolutely life-changing. So just to spend some time when you wake up, even if it takes 60 seconds of your day to think what amI grateful for today? It changes your whole state, doesn't it, it just changes everything.

And then do that before you go to bed. It's been scientifically proven now, like actually when people that practice gratitude and yeah, it’s not just

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Thank you for my house and thank you for my food. Sometimes I challenge myself to think, just so outside the box of what I'm grateful for. You know, if it's rained, it's like, oh, the smell of rain or wet grass, or my dog’s muddy prints all over the kitchen floor, whatever.

But just to be so grateful for the little things, because it's the gratitude and the little things that really makes us appreciate, oh, a hundred percent. But again, when you say you've intentions and when you say to do something like it's, it's just, I listen to

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podcasts all the time and I'm so excited to have yours as part of my routine now.

I was so excited and you hear these things that people see and you think that's a great idea. I'm going to do that one day. That’s the thing! And you don't have to just take all the things it's just got such an amazing nuggets. And it was like, huh, you think that. You hear what you need to hear, don't you? Yeah, take what resonates and then actually put it into your day. Plan it into your day.

When you wake up, you have your exercise clothes

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right there so that you actually need to trip over them to get to where you're going. I actually went,

but you know, put things in your day to make it easier for you to take the right action. We drink a nutritious drink in the morning, the green drink and there's three ingredients of that. So just put it on the worktop with the things there. Like you literally have to walk past it. You're not going to, it's not, you're

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not going to forget even, even fill the kettle up in the morning with water so that I don't have.

Because I'm not the best in the morning. I'm much more of a night owl than I am an early bird, but I've trained myself to be an early bird by making it easier for myself. So I have one of those wake-up lights that comes on rather than that, like glaring alarm in the darkness in the middle of winter. Like that stresses me.

So it kind of wakes me up naturally. And then as you say, having your workout clothes or your trackie top or whatever it is, make my fizz stick or make my

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coffee, whatever it is that I want, as you said,create an environment that cultivates good habits. Yes. So what would you say to a mum out there who is perhaps looking to start a business, maybe they currently working in a corporate environment, or maybe they haven't been working.

Maybe they've been at home with the kids, or maybe they've looked at a business like Arbonne in the network marketing industry. And they're not really sure. Do you have any tips or advice? Okay.

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I think more than anything, listen to your gut instinct and follow it. And if you have a thought more than a few times over the course of a week, and then you think about it again, and you keep coming back to that thought, and maybe you find yourself in discussions with friends, what do you think about that?

Would you ever try that? Would you ever? It's because deep down you want to but have a real kind of internal reflection as to why you're not doing it because I think most people will

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hesitate on starting something new, whether it's a network marketing business, whether it's any business, something totally new, and maybe it's getting a new degree.

What can we from the career? We hesitate because of self-doubt and we hesitate because of other people's opinions, most of the time, it's those two things. So it's really taking the tank thing. What is that? Why am I holding back? And then when you actually dig into those things you realise that is not worth it. Like, don't put your

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whole life on hold because of a little bit fear or worrying about what other people think.

If you have something in your gut, you know, you can do more, you can know, you can do something more excite and you know, there's something else there for you go for it. Absolutely go for it. And I think when it comes to a network marketing business, my advice would be, go and find a company that resonates go and find a community that resonates.

Go and find a brilliant compensation

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plan and then jump in. And I would say that there's. Two kind of routes to going into a network marketing business. I would see some people, or most people kind of cautiously enter that world. And actually it's not just a network marketing it's then starting an agency business or starting anything

on the side, you can either jump in wholeheartedly. Or cautiously into then dip your toe in the water, do a little bit, but being very cautious of everybody, else's

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seeing what everybody else's opinions are. And I see that a lot, like people not wholeheartedly going for stuff, mainly because of what everybody around them are saying or taking on board others saying exactly.

No. One's thinking about you nearly as much as you're thinking about yourself. So true. And what I just feel is so attractive. And what works is trust yourself, trust your gut instinct and throw yourself into that. The great thing about

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any network marketing company is that there's systems and there's processes. And there's people there. Trust that and throw yourself into it.

And other people will be inspired watching you throw yourself into something. And I think that's another thing is we'll like, be that person that goes for that because you'll inspire other people to go for it too, in life and business. And that. With whatever it is. I think you certainly inspiring people out there.

And that's why I love our

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community and our bond is that it's just filled with so many different backgrounds and people who are doing multiple different things and are just so inspiring. And I just love that culture, but yeah, as you say, just throw yourself in and it's that if you've got that gut feel, I mean, the gut.

The second brain for a reason it's telling you. It's firing off saying yes, yes. Lean into that, lean into that. And I just think nowadays in the culture that we exist in with all the distractions. And so like, we've almost got too much choice now, don't we there's

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so many options. It's actually, I think the real differentiator is going to be people that can really lean in and focus and just go all-in on something.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Amazing tips and advice. And I could talk to you forever. It's just been such a delight. Thank you so much. And I'm so grateful that you've been able to share with my community, this amazing healthy and thriving mums, community, all those fantastic tips, because I know that they will really bless other

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people.

And so if people want to connect with you and find you, where is the best place to do that? I want to Instagram. So my handle is Lesley F, F for Francis, Collins. Lesley F Collins. And Wendy, I just want to thank you because you've been such an inspiration to me. Obviously, we met through our business over a decade ago. Crazy.

I've watched you grow into this absolutely phenomenal business owner and working mum, and usually you give me

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so much. And so I'm so excited for this podcast. It's the mutual appreciation cup here. The other thing I just want to mention as well is you've also got another Instagram account. Lesley, just one of the many things that she does.

She also loves like I do. And this is where we have a mutual passion, like renovation. And you've been redoing your home. I haven't you. I have, yes. We bought a renovation project last year. And amongst all the madness. It’s funny because looking back with last year and thinking I

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had a five-month-old, we had no skirting boards.

Bare floors, walls just fresh plastered. It's like I just had a baby, what was I actually thinking? It's been amazing, such a passion project. So how can people find that? And it's gartmore_reno, so gartmore underscore reno. Oh, amazing. Please go check it out because Lesley's choices as well. I love the way you use like dark colours as

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well.

You're very bold with your choices. Like I'm very much still that like, Ooh, what shade of grey should I be? Whereas you're like, right. Get the greens and the blues and you go for it. And it's just. Stunning. So, and you've found like gorgeous wooden flooring and oh, your radiators, I mean, we could talk for days.

So I'll spare every one of them. But yes. Thank you so much. And I cannot wait to do a part two with you in later series and catch up with you.

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Where you are

Dear diet. It's not me. It's you. I just don't think it's going to work between us. You're boring. You're tasteless. And I can't stop cheating on you. I don't know about you, but I hate all the diet, diet, diet, and you as resolutions talk at this time of year. Because 80% of new year's resolutions fail. Why on earth would we even start?

, you don't need a new you in: 2022

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